Andrey (azangru) wrote,
Andrey
azangru

1. From David Crystal’s Making a Point (p.28):



If I am reading this correctly (and I can’t imagine how it can be read otherwise), it looks like he is saying that "of particular importance in developing a new system" is the subject of the sentence ("do we need to mark the end-point of the subject of the sentence). I can’t imagine how this can be right. The subject must be "the need to provide a network of supporting agencies"; "of particular importance in developing a new system" is a subject complement (refer to the subject, linked by the verb is).

2. The Times responds to letters from their readers. The second response, lost in transliteration, addresses the choice between the endings -ov and -off in Russian surnames. The comical detail is the Cyrillic letter "b" instead of "в". I imagine the reader wrote the capital Latin "B" to represent the "в", and then the typesetter lower-cased it for consistency, and got the "b" as a result:



3) A humorous piece about the Brexit day in The Times — Our Brexit Day: Everyone, by Hugo Rifkind. This bit cracked me up:

3.45pm
Cabinet begins walkabout of Sunderland. Mr Johnson notes high level of political awareness among public, many of whom are shouting about Huawei.

3.50pm
Chancellor of the duchy of Lancaster Michael Gove observes that it sounds more like “go Huawei” to him.



==================

8.03am

Brexit Hardman Steve Baker gives first interview of the day to explain that he’ll be celebrating Brexit discreetly because he doesn’t want to make a fuss about it.

8.20am

Foreign secretary Dominic Raab sparks fourth argument by saying trips like this would be simply impossible without HS2.

8.21am

Transport secretary Grant Shapps reminds him that they haven’t built it yet, though.

8.22am

Mr Raab admits that he hadn’t understood the full extent of this.

8.45am

Brexit Hardman Steve Baker gives second interview explaining that he’ll be celebrating Brexit discreetly because he doesn’t want to make a fuss about it.

10am

Group boards train at King’s Cross. Upgrades purchased for first class. Leader of the Commons Jacob Rees-Mogg inquires as to when train stopped having man at front with flag.

10.15am

Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage drinks first pint.

10.16am

Mr Farage drinks second pint and third pint.

10.20am

Mr Farage does interview about flag-waving incident in EU parliament. He explains that the authorities were only cross because they hate all national flags and ours in particular.

10.21am

Mr Farage is confronted with images of virtually every available surface in Brussels being festooned with British flags. Mr Farage maintains they’re just taking the piss, though.

10.45am

Elsewhere, a visibly overexcited Mark Francois is told by his staff to stop eating sugar.

11.00am

EU parliament spokesperson explains that the EU is being nice because being nice costs nothing. “Unlike Brexit which will cost you your automobile industry,” she does not add.

11.30am

European Commission president Ursula von der Leyen delivers message of goodwill to UK, pledging eternal friendship.

11.35am

Britain asks who that Kraut bird is, anyway.

12pm

Brexit Hardman Steve Baker does third and fourth interviews about not making a fuss about Brexit.

12.01pm

Watching above on phone on train, Brexit secretary Steve Barclay undergoes the existential shock of realising, for the first time, that he and Brexit Hardman Steve Baker are completely different people.

12.02pm

Other members of cabinet admit that they had never realised this, either.

12.30pm Elsewhere, Mr Farage drinks seventh pint.

1.01pm

Chancellor Sajid Javid receives call from European Central Bank regarding Brexit commemorative 50p piece. Bank wishes to buy 50,000. Mr Javid explains that this will cost approximately €30,000. Bank demurs, and resolves to call back next week, when they’ll be cheaper.

1.11pm

Leader of the opposition Jeremy Corbyn delivers long statement on Brexit that still doesn’t say whether he’s in favour of it or not.

1.30pm

Former prime minister David Cameron says nothing worth reporting.

1.45pm

Having arrived earlier than rest of group, prime minister Boris Johnson meets with schoolchildren and spends 28 minutes using felt tip pens to draw a car. Small child asks whether this is a Nissan, like the ones they make in the nearby factory where her dad works and everybody is really worried about Brexit. Small child is removed.

2.30pm

Rest of cabinet arrive at Sunderland glass factory for cabinet meeting. Realise have nothing to talk about.

2.31pm

Home Secretary Priti Patel raises concern about low-skilled people doing jobs for which they might not even be remotely competent. Entire cabinet shares concern.

2.33pm

Ms Patel clarifies that she is talking about immigration, rather than herself. Entire cabinet looks at shoes.

3.30pm

Labour leadership contender Rebecca Long Bailey issues statement claiming that she recalls working until 3am on the night Britain joined Europe in 1973, six years before she was born.

3.45pm

Cabinet begins walkabout of Sunderland. Mr Johnson notes high level of political awareness among public, many of whom are shouting about Huawei.

3.50pm

Chancellor of the duchy of Lancaster Michael Gove observes that it sounds more like “go Huawei” to him.

4pm

Cabinet board train back to London, resolving to visit North again within two years.

4.45pm

Mr Farage is on 17th pint.

4.50pm

President of United States telephones Mr Farage. Mr Farage hangs up, believing this to be prank caller.

5pm

Producer of reality TV show receives phone call from a 23rd jobless former Brexit Party MEP that day and repeats assertion that the only one she’s remotely interested in seeing eat a bollock is Ann Widdecombe.

5.15pm

Friends of former Brexit secretary David Davis let it be known that he takes full credit for everything.

5.30pm

Mr Francois awakes from nap.

6pm

Brexit Hardman Steve Baker gives 87th interview about not making a fuss about Brexit.

6.45pm

President of United States calls Mr Johnson to congratulate him on Britain’s escape from yoke of oppression and to discuss acceptable methods of cleaning raw chicken.

7pm

Speaking to prime minister by telephone, Mr Cummings lets it be known that he will accept no morons, lightweights or lunatics into tonight’s Brexit Party at Downing Street, meaning it’s just going to be him and Mr Gove. “And me,” points out the PM, although Mr Cummings does not reply.

7.30pm

Gathering early for the party in Trafalgar Square, former MEP Richard Tice looks out across the crowd and suggests that party is full of weirdos and nutters. Mr Farage, who has by now switched to gin, explains that his parties always are.

8pm-11pm

Entire British public wonders what the point of the 11pm thing was, anyway.

10pm

Brexit Hardman Steve Baker decides he might go to the big party after all.

11pm

Mr Francois runs around Parliament Square with tie on head, shouting “bong”.

11.01pm

Trade negotiations begin.

*according to Hugo Rifkind
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